i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Can I color on your dick again?
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
