sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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