I want to walk on stilts...naked
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
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