I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Randomize