"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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