please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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