I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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