Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
