its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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