how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
