MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Randomize
