why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
