it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
