i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
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