well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
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