I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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