My first STD was from a foam party
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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