You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
