I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Randomize
