PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
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