1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
