I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
So apparently I’m into choking now
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
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