Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
