I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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