She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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