Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
