I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize
