i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
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