Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
