I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
