turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
