I love black thongs
...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
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