Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
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