I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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