We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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