So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Randomize
