If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
