he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Just puked most of my soul out..
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
