just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Randomize
