"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
I could make wine with my vomit
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize