FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
