I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
