I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Randomize
