hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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