Nicole vs. Life
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
