You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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