I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
She said her name was "party"
I hope mine doesn't look like that
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
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