i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
Randomize
