So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Randomize
