Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
