that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
people are starting to question the shark bite story
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
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