these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
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