i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
