Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
