I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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