it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize