i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
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when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
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