I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
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You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
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Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
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