Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
