it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
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