yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
We have so much sex to catch up on
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Randomize
