Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
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