Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
